Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Im NOT DEAD


 Hello Fellow bloggers and Random Readers.

 It had defiantly been a few minutes since i've been here.

Im gonna attempt to blog, but Ill probably be likeavirgin blogger so bear with me.

 Im 3 years older and I don't know anymore today than I did 3 years ago, except that bad things do
 happen to "good" people, that, I am not in control of ANYTHING, and you cant know another persons heart!
 Only God does!!

 And, ALL THINGS DO WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD, however I still cant find the good, but Im still looking at the small picture through human eyes...
 So, a few things I do know is,

 I am NOTHING...I AM NOTHING!

 NEVER SAY NEVER,
and, NEVER JUDGE, I mean NEVER EVER JUDGE...

 And never get too comfortable in your position in life because it can be ripped apart in a second, literally!

 NEver assume your partner is happy, and don't believe him (or her) when they say everything is fine, PEOPLE LIE. They look you in the eye and LIE.

 EVERybody is out for themselves.

 I am an option. I don't think I ever was a priority and am not sure that I ever will be.

 I am a rung on the ladder of finding perfection...

  ...I miss my Mama and Daddy, they are the only ones who loved me, really loved me.

Find happiness in GOD and yourself and NEVER depend on anyone else for anything...

 I have not done this, and I don't know if Im capable, I think I try, but Im not very good at anything I

attempt.
  I am pressing on, everyday! I am trying.

 This is my mindset these days. Not very comforting or reassuring, but I am not these things, at least not anymore.
 Some days I feel better, some days worse, but never myself again.
 I am damaged merchandise. I am not myself anymore.

If by chance I run into people I use to know and they tell me they miss me, I tell them I miss me too.

 I don't know me anymore, Maybe one day Ill be better because of this. But for now, for today ,

                          I exist.

4 comments:

angelonwheels said...

I'm glad to hear from you! You may not feel it or believe it, but you do have worth! I am sorry you have had such a painful few years!

Mamaw 27 said...

I'm sorry you feel that no one really loves you but your mama and daddy because I believe you have a sister or two that really love YOU. Just YOU with no bells and whistles, not because you have short hair or long hair, not because you have a manicure or jagged nails, not because you are white or tanned, not because you are you miss me or you don't miss me; I could go on forever but JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE GENDY, MY LITTLE SISTER! I do and I always will LOVE YOU!!

Gramma 2 Many said...

Glenda, I have missed your blogs. I just clicked over here by chance and saw that you have posted again. I hope you continue to do so. I find it therapeutic. FB is so impersonal, I did not know you were still struggling. I am so sorry. I wish I could sit with you, hug you and cry with you. I think we could both use it. Keep on keeping on. Even if we do not know the whys, we do keep our focus on Him. Even when it seems He no longer knows who we are, He did promise to never leave or forsake us. I have to grasp onto that promise often.

Mamaw 27 said...

Press on toward the mark!! In Christ you will.